Saturday, October 15, 2011

Insecurity & Attachment

Few of us know who we truly are. Most believe we are the job we have, the achievement we seek to attain, the title we are given, the relationship we are in, or the roles we play in our daily life. In a world where things are constantly changing, moving, growing, evolving, many of us find ourselves rigid and holding on to all the uncertainties that accompany all aspects of life. It is fear of the unknown that keeps us trapped and clinging to anyway to make the outcome clearer. This is a form of control and insecurity. When we let go of the need to control, life unfolds in its own way at its own pace, which is something that takes time. When we push or try to rush a resolution sooner than is natural resistance, problems, and ultimately destruction follow. This is of course an outcome, but probably not the one that you desire.

Attachment is normal, we all seek it in every aspect of our lives but it is not natural. A desire for attachment comes from deep confusion about who we truly are, where we are, and what is going on. Essentially, it is a misunderstanding about the nature of relationships and fear of being abandoned. We feel the tighter we hold on, the less frightened we will be. The opposite is true. The gripping itself creates the fear. This sense of crushing and being crushed is at the very core of the pain we experience. Many become afraid of losing that which they have been accomplished, that they will not attain their goal, that they will lose the person they love. It is our resistance and controlling the flow that makes life all that more difficult.

So Why Are People Insecure and Seek Control?
Some factors include…
1. Lack of self-confidence
2. Inability to trust oneself and others
3. Being raised in an environment that is not conducive for learning, is chaotic and thus leads them to be frequently on the edge.
4. Having gone through a major setback or tragedy in life such as losing someone important, divorce or bankruptcy.
5. Lack of direction in life.
6. Lack of compliments and acknowledgements from others
7. Poor self-image
8. Having unrealistic expectations imposed on them by others, which they are striving to achieve.
9. Overshadowed by successes of others
10. Fear. (fear of rejection, pain, loss, embarrassment, etc….)

Tips for Dealing With Insecurity
1. Self Awareness – Ask yourself what is the trigger of you feeling insecure? Fear of loss, pain, embarrassment or rejection. What is it that you are insecure about? After finding out the trigger, ask yourself what new behavior traits you can develop to make you feel more secure? How does the new behavior benefit me? What is my action plan to develop the new behavior?
2. “So what” attitude - Don’t keep asking what if this happen or what if that happen. You can run your imagination wild if you keep asking yourself what if. When your mind starts going to those crazy places tell yourself “So What?” it isn’t real. There are a lot of things that are actually minor problems until we are guilty of making a mountain out of a mole. Even if the worst possible thing did happen, you will learn from it and keep going. The world will not stop despite your fear of it doing so.
3. Exercise and Activities – Join a gym, take up the yoga class, take up a club/ hobbies, or start doing activities you enjoy. Exercising can improve your mood. When you exercise your brain release chemicals, which will make you feel happier and more relaxed. By regularly exercising you can boost your confidence, improve your self-esteem and say goodbye to depression and anxiety.
4. Set Goals – Lack of direction in life can cause insecurity. You will be wondering what is your purpose in life and lack the self esteem. By regularly setting goals, you can keep on achieving and lesser time for your mind to wander. Be sure to take small steps.
5. Journal - Use a journal and record the success you have make in life. Record down the mini success you have achieved and regularly refer back to it to boost your self-confidence.
6. List your fears - List your fears and triggers. Awareness is vital for your success. When you have the awareness you can make a plan to overcome these issues. Keep conquering your fears one by one and soon you will be shock by what you can do!
7. Buddy, Mentor, Counselor, or Group – Find a friend, mentor, or guidance system that you can trust and tell them about the challenges you are facing. Let them track your progress and shower you with compliments and ideas for your success.
8. Laughter – Laughter is the best medicine for human. When you laugh your mood lightens up and is said to help to improve the immune system too. Watching a funny show, seeing a comedy routine, even just laughing with friends is so invaluable!

Insecurity is a normal part of life affecting ALL people at every age, stage, and for many different reasons. Try to enjoy every moment, don’t let your thoughts control you, and know you are amazing and can accomplish of anything! Say YES to change; it is just another opportunity knocking on life’s door!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Manifestation Course Offered

In a world that is now evolving faster than ever we are finally able to see our manifestations come to light almost as fast as you think of them. I have been a master of manifestation nearly my entire life, not knowing that what I was experiencing was so different than most people. (I always knew that if I wanted something bad enough, I would get it! It was more just a question of when and how.)
I have helped countless people manifest all of there physical and emotional desires, which largely has to do with intention and practice, practice, practice. If you are interested in manifestation and would like to learn more I offer one on one sessions in Los Angeles. Please contact me if you are interested! Remember, Your future begins with YOU! 

Mirrors and Teachers

Everyone we come in contact with on a daily basis is in our lives for a reason. However brief the encounter or how long the friendship/ foe, we are all here to teach each other. Sometimes it is the message of how be a positive example, other times it is to help us see our flaws. In either case we are all here to grow, to evolve, to be better to our friends and family, to ourself, and to the world as a whole. Remember we too shine for others to see. How do we conduct ourselves when doing our daily tasks, whether that be in social situations or while alone? Are the thoughts that you have that run through your head generally positive and loving? Or maybe they are blaming, hateful, and negative? What you think is what you reflect, and what you reflect is what you attract.
It is our choice to change our thoughts and actions. It is our choice to choose to see the lessons of life that unfold around you in your daily life. The lessons are there if you open your heart to receive them. Once you get the lesson you have two choices; either do something or don't. From my experience when you choose ignore the lessons you are "stuck" in the pattern of repeating them. The same type of situation will keep coming up over and over again until you finally choose a different approach. It is like my mother says, "the definition of insanity is repeating the same action and expecting a different outcome." My challenge to you is to be open to seeing the messages, acknowledging that this is a pattern that you have created, then choose a new path (this is how we change our programing and evolve.) WE ALL HAVE IT WITHIN OUR POWER TO BE THE CHANGE WE WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD.
For more insight on this and other topics please contact me directly via email at
I look forward to your thoughts, comments, and questions.

Everything is NOTHING & Nothing is EVERYTHING

Everything is nothing and nothing is everything. When you realize that everything you have been holding onto as the key to happiness is a lie and realize that instead it is the smallest seemingly most insignificant things that are what matter most, it shakes you in a very profound way. I have had many of these moments which have helped open my eyes to new ways of thinking and viewing the world; ways that I now live my life. Everything is prospective and programing. Any and all situations in your life can be viewed in multiple ways. It is your interpretation of these events that determine the reality of the situation. It is always a choice to see things in different ways. What I have found is that you must try to learn the lesson in every situation and take that as the message, don't fall into the unconscious pattern of the situation. See the pattern, acknowledge your part in it. When you can do that it is easier to walk away from the event not feeling so much pain, shame, guilt, hurt, blame, or whatever other emotion it trying to be played out by your past conditioning. It is when you choose not to learn the lesson that we are damned to repeat it, and who wants to keep doing that?!?!? We all have a past; from the time we are born we are being imprinted (programmed) with messages. Message from our family, religion, society, the media, friends, etc....It is those messages that help us determine who we are, how to feel, what is important, how to live our life. Much of the time we are living out these programs as if they are our own; never taking into account if that is something that WE actually believe or if it was something adopted into our programing by one of these sources or situations in our life. The best way I have learned to overcome and recognize my programing is to start my looking at some of the big topics like religion, self image, relationships, money, power, etc... When I think of these things, what thoughts come up? A lot of the time you will hear other peoples words play through your head. For example, "people cant be trusted," "you have to work hard for your money," "I will be happy if someone loves me," "I am not pretty unless I am skinny," "I need to have lots of money and expensive things to be successful," "my religion is the RIGHT religion." All of these types of thoughts play through your head all day....everyday! When you notice them, STOP! For just a second and ask yourself, where did that belief come from and how is it that YOU really FEEL about that subject. More often than not you will find that it is something you were programmed with a long time ago, or it is something that you adopted along the way. As a family we actually take on our parents beliefs and play them out through life times; like a karmic chain. If we can overcome some of the family programing beliefs we are not only freeing ourselves, but also freeing past and future generations! (It is something to think about....and definitely something worth while to try to make the effort to help change.)
I urge you to give it a try. Start asking why!!!!! Pretend you are a little kid again and start asking questions, but this time don't ask others......ASK YOURSELF! Self awareness is truth, truth is source, source is life, and life is consciousness.

FOOD for Thought

In the world of health and wellness people are always asking me what food to be eating to help with common alments. I have chosen a few of the common concerns and decided to give you the "magic" food to help each. Hope this helps :)
Beets-If you are feeling sluggish, trade that energy drink for a fresh beet juice. By drinking 17 ounces of this natures goodness you could increase your workout time by 16%, according to a recent study by the University of Exeter. Due to the high nitrate content it is a fabulous generator of nitric oxide, which helps promote blood flow and decrease the amount of oxygen uptake in the bloodstream. It will most definitely also help you stay alert with out all the synthetic junk which is in the now commonly used energy drinks (as well as no artificial sweeteners and colors.)
Melons- Juicy, delicious, watery and nutritious this super food is a good source of potassium and other minerals. Potassium protects your cardiovascular system which can lower blood pressure as found in a University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center study. Hypertension (high blood pressure) is nothing to ignore, if left untreated it can lead to heart attack, stroke, and kidney disease. So the next time you see this fresh summer fruit make sure to grab and extra slice.
Broccoli- Green goodness! In addition to helping prevent heart disease, cancer, and cataracts, it can also alleviate asthma, allergic rhinitis, and other respiratory conditions that might have you wheezing. Studies at UCLA show that sulforaphane, a chemical found in broccoli, caused a more than 100% spike in antioxidant production in nasal airways, counteracting free radicals which are inhaled from pollution, pollens, and smoke.
Asparagus- Yes I know....the smelly food!?!? It turns out that the plant's extracts help alleviate the effect of cellular toxicities (like booze) in the bloodstream. An added bonus is that those same extracts help protect liver cells once damage has been done. (see my recipe of the week for suggestion on preparation for this delicious health choice)
Berries (especially black berries)- Antioxidant power! They naturally boost your immune system and contain a special flavonoid called anthocyanins which prohibit the froth of cancerous cells in the esophagus and other tissue systems. You will be berry healthy and live long if you choose more of this tart fruit.
Garlic- Along with chasing away vampires, you could also scare away free radicals! Allicain, the compound that give garlic its distinct flavor and aroma is one of natures most powerful antioxidants. For centuries, garlic has been used for its medical properties such as lowering blood pressure, fighting cancer, and even the common cold. By trapping free radicals (which destroy cells) causing disease, illness and premature aging, garlic can give you a health and turn back time like you never imagined possible.

Tips for an Amazing Walking Workout

Tips for an AMAZING Walking Workout
Exercise for most people seems like a daunting proposition. We might go into a workout schedule with the best of intentions and after a few short days or weeks we find ourselves coming up with excuses or reasons why we cant go on. My suggestion is to change your attitude about what working out means. Even something as simple as going for a nice stroll in the park can be a very effective form of exercise when done correctly. It also can give your body and mind the break it needs from the stresses of life and a challenging workout regimen while still staying on the path to get fitness.
We have all heard the benefits of exercise not only on the body for optimal health, but even just 20-30 minutes a day can decrease stress and have enormous positive mental health benefits! What I love about walking is that it is low impact, not mentally or physically challenging, and you can do it just about anywhere (although I would suggest going out into nature whenever possible.) Exercise can be the best part of the day for yourself where you get to think, not think, relax, de-stress, pamper, love, and connect with your true self.
Here are some tips for an effective but enjoyable walking workout……..
Posture for POWER
· Neck and Head: Your head and neck should be relaxed and comfortable right over your shoulders, chin in, slightly in front of the rest of your body, eye gaze the ground 15 feet ahead.
· Upper back: As one leg comes forward, your opposite arm goes forward. This is a natural rotation that occurs in your back. Do not hold your body too stiff or you will prevent this rotation.
· Abs: Your abs should be slightly contracted, think about holding your muscles up and in. You know you’re contracting too hard if it interrupts the flow of your breath.
· Glutes and Hamstrings: Use your glutes to propel your forward. Also think of your hamstrings and calf muscles your secondary motor helping you push forward.
· Knees: As your Heels strike the ground, your front knee should have a slight bend to provide cushion and agility. NEVER lock your knees.
· Ankles: Your ankles will naturally roll in and out a little as you walk- the key is to make sure they are not rolling in or out too much.
· Feet: Distribute weight evenly over the whole foot to put the least amount of stress on your ankle, knee and hip joints. When your foot strikes the ground, lead with the heal first; then roll your weight through the middle of your foot, up to the ball region.
10 Tips for Treading
1. Try something new every day: whether it is a new path, a new speed, a new mantra or focus, or bringing a friend or some favorite tunes on your journey. Variety is key for any change to happen and to keep things fun and interesting.
2. Track your heart rate: Wearing a heart monitor is like having a miniature personal trainer. It will let you know when you need to work harder or ease up. Find your maximum heart rate by subtracting your age from 220. The goal is to work between 60-80% of that number for an effective workout.
3. Add some intervals: Increase your speed for brief burst during the walk and that will double your calorie burn. Alternate between 3 minutes of walking at a steady pave to one minute at a speed walk or light jog.
4. Use your breath: Finding power in your breath and learning to control and focus on it can not only be a helpful tool to power though your workout but also can help you have a walking meditation which is amazingly beneficial for your soul.
5. Incorporate a circuit: Carrying a light weight or resistance band and doing a simple exercise (like bicep curls or overhead press) every 10 minutes will give you a full body workout and will equal big results.
6. Head for the hills: Roads with long, gradual inclines are great to give you a new found intensity to your program. Rolling hills are ideal for intervals if you push your pace on the uphill and use the downhill for recovery.
7. Create an image in your mind: Seeing yourself as you would like to be while working out will make faster change. Visualization techniques work as a mind body connection that switch the focus of not believing in yourself to what you do what and do believe can happen.
8. These shoes are made for walkin’: Find the perfect shoes. What type of exercise do you want to do? There are shoes for every type of exercise; running, walking, cross-training, hiking….what ever you pick make use it is the right shoe for the job. (fit and size is also very important)
9. Set your intention: Having goals and being clear on them will help you stay motivated for the long haul. If it is to run a 5k or to lose 10 pounds, if you have a goal and set your intention before you start each workout you will not give up until you get there.
10. Stretch yourself: Spending some time after your workout to cool down the muscles and doing a few stretches is beneficial on many levels. It helps flush lactic acid out which means less muscle soreness. It also helps develop long lean muscles (think dancer body.) Last of all, it gives you a chance to reflect on what you accomplished, which is an important step in staying motivated and positive about your fitness and life in general.

Dealing with Uncertainty in Life

Life has many ups and downs. There are times in our lives when it can feel like life has control of us more than we have control over it. There are times when we are all faced with situations, which seem bigger than we are. Where the situations we are in seem to have power over the direction of our lives. It can be those moments when you face uncertainty about your job, relationship, health, loved ones, etc. This can lead to a negative pattern of thinking and reacting, which makes your life feel all that more out of control and inevitably bring with it feeling of insecurity, fear, anxiety, worry, self-doubt, depression, and sometimes can even feel totally overwhelming. So, what do you do? How can you cope with such uncertainty? How do you not let it control you? I have put together these strategies to help you deal with the uncertainty of life and the insecurity that follows.
Don’t Get Paralyzed
All too often, when we have great uncertainty in our lives, we have a tendency to become paralyzed by it. We allow it to consume us and take all of our energy thinking, worrying, and focusing on every detail of the situation in which you seem to find yourself. When you realize that you are dealing with a life uncertainty, you must come to terms with the fact that you are really at war with it within your own mind. The direction in which your mind thinks, so your emotions will follow! Typically, the mind becomes consumed with playing out all of the possible negative scenarios regarding the situation. This only makes you feel worse and more paralyzed and fearful of the future. Rather, you can realize that you need to take control of your thinking. Most people don’t understand that they actually can choose what to think about. Making the conscious choice on not only what to think, but how we choose to view it can greatly impact how we feel and what it is that can be done to help the situation.
Focus On What is in Your Control
You may be asking yourself, “then what am I supposed to think about?” Well, it can be very helpful to do the simple exercise of drawing a circle on a piece of paper, write (outside the circle) all the things you feel are outside of your control in the given situation. Then within the circle, write all of the things that are within your control. It is human nature to have our minds roam, when you catch yourself see what it is that you are thinking about unconsciously. This is precisely where you end up expending most of your energy! When you catch yourself thinking negatively, make the conscious choice to focus on the things that are only in your control with this situation. It means that you have to actively let go of that which is not in your control. Tell yourself that worrying about the situation will not change it. You cannot control the situation, but you can control your own response to it. You can do things (even if they seem small) to make some change to the situation and it all starts with how you use your thoughts. Your decisions are far more powerful than your circumstances.
Prepare and Plan
Take action where you can take action. The more active you are in preparation, the better you will feel about the situation. Brainstorm possibilities and don’t just think about acting - do what you can do now.
Make plans for what you can make plans for. There is another exercise that works very well in letting go of the stress of any situation. Imagine yourself, one minute after the thing you fear most has just happened. Put yourself in that position. Now what? How do you feel? What has changed? What can be done?
Often times, the worrying about an event happening worse than the reality once it does happen. By mentally preparing for the worst, you can drop the worrying that leads up to it. That way if anything other than the worst scenario happens you are already prepared and at ease.
Evaluate Your Life
At times when life has great uncertainty, it can give rise to self-evaluation. Evaluating one’s life is not a bad thing, as long as it doesn’t move a person into a “victim” role, where people see themselves only as a victim of their circumstances. When you take on a “victim” role, you end up giving away your power. Rather, use this time of re-evaluation to make positive decisions for yourself and the situation. It may be that reprioritizing some aspects of your life might be in order. Make yourself and your happiness your top priority and anything that deviates from that plan should be redirected.
Talk, Write, Exercise, and Vent the Stress
When there is a lot of uncertainty, there can also be a lot of stress. Stress affects different people in different ways. Talking about your stress and the feelings that the uncertainty can bring up all sorts of issues; sometimes even deeper hidden emotions of past traumas and experiences, thus making your current situation seem all that more traumatic. When issues are unresolved they tend to remain trapped in the body and can manifest into physical pain and even disease. They will also resurface in interesting ways, especially when a stress triggers a similar emotion. By asking yourself where this emotion is coming from and seeing if you are perpetuating some other unresolved issue helps make clear not only the situation in which you find yourself, but also past tramatic events. Find ways to deal with stress; talking it out, journaling, exercising, laughing, doing something you enjoy are great ways to deal with the stress. The focus should just be to LET IT OUT.
Find Opportunities Within the Crisis
The Chinese character for crisis is made up of two other characters – Danger and Opportunity. Within any crisis, there are always opportunities. The opportunity may be in the growth that can happen in your own life. The opportunity can be that it makes you take action to pursue new things within your life. Or the opportunity may be how it can possibly enhance and enrich your relationship with your spouse and children. Whatever the opportunity – find it, take it, seize it and use it. See the blessings that come from the situation. To help balance you during times of uncertainty, it is always valuable to incorporate “an attitude of gratitude”. Look at all of your life and take the time to note anything and everything for which you are thankful. This simple thing can change your outlook in a matter of minutes.
Reach Out and Access all your Resources
When you face life uncertainties, you need to reach out as much as possible. Don’t become a hermit and seclude yourself away, and don’t become a super hero who never shows their vulnerability to anyone else. Those approaches to dealing with stressful uncertainty are unhealthy and can end up hurting you. Rather, you need to reach out to all the resources that are around you. Reach out to people with whom you feel safe. Reach out spiritually. Reach out to support groups, books, or Internet resources. And if you feel like you are getting stuck emotionally, seek help – go to a counselor, life coach, shaman, priest, or whomever you feel called to seek for help. It may be the best gift you ever give to yourself, the truth is you don’t have to suffer through it alone. There are ALWAYS resources available.
Be Fearless
If you are going to achieve success you have to let go of your fear. Fear is the most common emotions that holds us into negative ways of thinking and being. When we embrace what it unknown and what scares us, we are able to live to our full potential. Start by repeatedly telling yourself that you are fearless and that you choose not to live in fear. By repeating this mantra you will be better able to handle fear when it does arise and come from a place of power. You may also be called to ask God, Source, Angels, Beings of Light, or the specific energies you need (such as courage, strength, fearlessness, hope, wisdom, etc) to be with your throughout your day. This will help set the intention and support for living the life you want.
So as you can see there are many things that you can do to help come from an empowered place, even when you feel life leaves you with a lot of questions. Life is unfolding in the most perfect way, so stop trying to control it and just accept it for what it is. Always remember, “Life happens while you are busy making plans for it,” so stop wasting all your life worrying about it and go out and LIVE IT!